on a scale of one to ten how ashamed do you think tumblr is to have the same logo font as toddlers and tiaras
did u think i was lying
i’m just gonna interrupt tonight’s screaming to point out that melinda may has black widow listed on her phone
oh my god this is RECENT CALLS, too
this is amazing
she called her MOTHER after her conversation with Nat, too
I feel like I’m going to be that aunt who drinks vodka straight out of the bottle and ruins Christmas.
Me: *before I take my first bite*
Mom: is it good?
shoutout to people working weekends and overnights and overtime, people working in hospitality and retail and food service, who are sacrificing time with their loved ones, so fuckers with weekday desk jobs get to live comfortably with the amenities we provide while simultaneously shitting all over us for not getting “real jobs”
This literally does not happen
You literally have no concept of the grown-up world.
A friend of mine just messaged me saying “I fucked up. I was doing math with my son, and I told him to ‘hold up eleven fingers’ and he started to panic and I didn’t realize why until he screamed ‘MOM…MOM I ONLY HAVE TEN”
everyone has a weird emo cousin and if you don’t then that means you are the weird emo cousin